Old Wisdom and the Value of Acceptance

I am a big fan of storytelling. As I do almost every morning, earlier today I listened to NPR’s Morning Edition, and a story about cross-generational friendship and acceptance caught my attention over my ritual morning to-do’s. Barbara Handelsman (80, when the story was recorded) and her grandson Aaron, 20, spoke to StoryCorps about their relationship and the value of acceptance.

Barbara revealed to her grandson that he has been the one person in her life that let her feel “perfectly free to be me”, and ended the interview with sage advice: be yourself.

This value of “being you” and allowing others to do the same is something I've always struggled with. When someone tells you to just be yourself, what does that mean? And how do you know when you’re being yourself?

In trying to fulfill this advice, I believe finding comfort and listening to gut feelings are the best ways to go. In my opinion, these feelings derive themselves from a lifetime (short or long) of experiences. Whether it’s listening to your parents or friends, or acting a certain way and observing the consequences, or even using biological instincts, simply tuning in to this “feeling” helps me find comfort in who I am.

In accepting others, it is only those closest to me that I find myself being most critical. I work to keep in balance accepting and loving their personalities, with wanting to help, give advice, and take care of them in ways that I believe are best. It is horrible to feel that someone wants to fix you, and that is not what I ever want to do.

When does helping turn to fixing? How do we accept others quirks and values while still staying true to our own? And how does it feel to love unconditionally and feel the same in return? I hope this is the first in a series of posts exploring values, and finding stories about those values like Barbara and Aaron's that inspire critical thinking and possibly, discovery.  

Find their story here.